I have always tried to stay away from drama queens. I think they are drawn to me because I'm empathetic, but they are draining.
But it dawned on me today (only took 48 years):
Oh God, am I a drama queen?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Musings of a nomad.
It's no mystery to anyone that has known me more than five years, that I have moved. A lot. I can't recall the last count but it was somewhere around 15 times in 10 years. Some of it had to do with separating from my first husband and going through the divorce process. (Which was a difficult time of reinvention for me, trying to really figure out who I was, where I belonged, my core values, etc.) Some of it was hoping to find that perfect balance of home, community, self, and family.
For the past four years, we've stayed put in the same house. It's been a good feeling with the stability for my kids and trying to connect with a community. The unfortunate thing is that this community has never felt quite right. We never seem to fit in and there was always the missing link of family. It's hard when the only time we see family is when we make annual treks to Virginia and Oklahoma. It uses up all of our vacation time visiting with family.
We've tried very hard to make good friends here and have had limited success. The challenge is that Nate and I are best with a small core group of good friends. We don't do well in large social circles that keep us busy every night juggling between all the invites and being social butterflies. So we've tried identifying people that we enjoy being around and merging into their busy lives. The challenge is that we always find people that are the social butterflies and don't have the time to involve us. We've had dozens of dinner parties that have never been reciprocated. This has hurt our kids the most - they are unfortunately like us. All they want are a few really good friends that are there for them. They've been hurt by the lack of community here. Perhaps its the neighborhood - not enough kids for them to bond with. (And I'd like to say here that we have one family of very good friends in this neighborhood that I know would do anything for us. And I think the world of them - they are some of the best people I have ever met in my life and without them, life would have been unbearable in Marietta. They are dear, dear people.)
It's no surprise to anyone that knows me well that Georgia's political temperature and mine don't mesh. And that the school systems drive me nutty. We were lucky to land in a good elementary school, but when I compare Georgia standards to Virginia's - Holy Moly, our kids don't have a chance.
I'm sure you all know where I'm going at this point. We're done. We've had enough of Marietta Georgia and are returning to Virginia. We might not ever find the community that we hope to, but at least we're never more than two hours drive to people that love us and accept us for all of our quirks.
It makes me sad. There are people that I genuinely like here that I never got to see enough of. But busy lives and some distance have kept us from bonding more. I'll keep in touch with the ones that really mean something to me. I'm sorry that the number is very small. For the most part once we've left - it will be out of sight, out of mind. Their lives won't change a bit. We're the ones taking the scars with us.
Moving is not enjoyable and I know that we have become quite the butt of many jokes. Yes, we are moving again and it will require at least another move, since we have to rent for a year or two. But this time we finally know what we are looking for instead of what we don't want. We are focusing on schools, community and family. The house is secondary. It's a shell that you fill with home.
When people have asked me where I'm from, I've always said "Virginia, but I live in Georgia now." It's where I belong and I'm sorry that it took me so long and so many moves to realize it. I know it won't be easy coming back and that there will be some rough spots until we get familiar with each other again. But I've missed you.
Virginia, I'm coming home. Save me some of your beautiful sunsets, your sweet wine, and your eclectic nutty people that understand me so well.
For the past four years, we've stayed put in the same house. It's been a good feeling with the stability for my kids and trying to connect with a community. The unfortunate thing is that this community has never felt quite right. We never seem to fit in and there was always the missing link of family. It's hard when the only time we see family is when we make annual treks to Virginia and Oklahoma. It uses up all of our vacation time visiting with family.
We've tried very hard to make good friends here and have had limited success. The challenge is that Nate and I are best with a small core group of good friends. We don't do well in large social circles that keep us busy every night juggling between all the invites and being social butterflies. So we've tried identifying people that we enjoy being around and merging into their busy lives. The challenge is that we always find people that are the social butterflies and don't have the time to involve us. We've had dozens of dinner parties that have never been reciprocated. This has hurt our kids the most - they are unfortunately like us. All they want are a few really good friends that are there for them. They've been hurt by the lack of community here. Perhaps its the neighborhood - not enough kids for them to bond with. (And I'd like to say here that we have one family of very good friends in this neighborhood that I know would do anything for us. And I think the world of them - they are some of the best people I have ever met in my life and without them, life would have been unbearable in Marietta. They are dear, dear people.)
It's no surprise to anyone that knows me well that Georgia's political temperature and mine don't mesh. And that the school systems drive me nutty. We were lucky to land in a good elementary school, but when I compare Georgia standards to Virginia's - Holy Moly, our kids don't have a chance.
I'm sure you all know where I'm going at this point. We're done. We've had enough of Marietta Georgia and are returning to Virginia. We might not ever find the community that we hope to, but at least we're never more than two hours drive to people that love us and accept us for all of our quirks.
It makes me sad. There are people that I genuinely like here that I never got to see enough of. But busy lives and some distance have kept us from bonding more. I'll keep in touch with the ones that really mean something to me. I'm sorry that the number is very small. For the most part once we've left - it will be out of sight, out of mind. Their lives won't change a bit. We're the ones taking the scars with us.
Moving is not enjoyable and I know that we have become quite the butt of many jokes. Yes, we are moving again and it will require at least another move, since we have to rent for a year or two. But this time we finally know what we are looking for instead of what we don't want. We are focusing on schools, community and family. The house is secondary. It's a shell that you fill with home.
When people have asked me where I'm from, I've always said "Virginia, but I live in Georgia now." It's where I belong and I'm sorry that it took me so long and so many moves to realize it. I know it won't be easy coming back and that there will be some rough spots until we get familiar with each other again. But I've missed you.
Virginia, I'm coming home. Save me some of your beautiful sunsets, your sweet wine, and your eclectic nutty people that understand me so well.
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