So what IS it like to be Vegan?

For anyone that has known me for any length of time, you know that I went through a vegetarian phase that lasted in total about three years, over a five year period. (If you can figure that out, I'll give you a penny.)

It means that I wasn't a hard core veg and fell off the wagon on occasion. Especially considering how much I travel. Thirteen years ago, try ordering a vegetarian meal in Omaha, NE. I got a plain iceberg lettuce salad at every meal. EVEN breakfast. Seriously.

I've been teetering on the brink of going back to mostly veg, but here's the challenge: I love food. I love the taste of meat and I love to cook. So why on God's green earth would I do this?

I've watched a few movies lately: Vegucated and Food, Inc. and I'm so seriously grossed out by how animals have been industrialized and are processed on assembly (dis-assembly) lines. I can't bear it any more and have decided to go VEGAN. Not just vegetarian (I was octo-lacto before.), but VEGAN. Which means no dairy, no eggs. I guess I consider it an experiment. I'm not sure how long I can go. Veronica challenged me to do it for a year. I'm on day four and already really struggling. I MISS CHEESE. More than anything else. I MISS CHEESE.

I've actually gained two pounds because I'm eating more carbs. (I make home made Vegan bread that is awesome.) Sigh. I miss cheese.

But seriously, processed food already grossed me out, how our society is fed such garbage and accepts it as nutritious food. Filled with preservatives, sugar and unnatural ingredients. This is just taking it further - I have a choice not to eat meat that is raised just for the purpose of feeding the masses and mistreated in the process. The weird part is cooking meat for the family, and making my meal separately.

Ten Year Anniversary

Ten years ago at 6 am the phone rang and my brother in law gave me the worst news of my life. My mom suffered a massive heart attack, was in a coma and would probably not live until I got to Charlottesville from Alexandria.

I did make it and sat by her side with my three sisters all day, talking and singing Christmas Carols to her and at 6 pm on December 17, 2001 - my mom left us.

I'm surprised by how my mom's presence is still will me ten years after her death. This morning at 7 am, my sister Mel "butt" called me, waking me up with same sense of dread about an early call.

A few hours later - our Christmas Tree crashed to the ground. A tiny 8 foot thing with six strands of lights and fully decorated. Did I mention the two gallons of water it held? The funny thing is, I wasn't upset about it, but amused. Getting upset wouldn't solve anything - so I had to look at the lighter side of it. I could just hear my mom saying "You just have to laugh at life's mishaps and make the best of it."

Miss you mom. You were the eternal optimist.

Happy Birthday to Me

The present I gave myself this year was a 13.1 sticker on the back of my car and I'm damn proud of it.

I ran the entire way, I didn't even stop for water, I just slowed down enough to drink it while I jogged. I was completely terrified that if I stopped, my legs wouldn't start again. Lots of knee and foot pain, but I kept going. My time was 2:36:04 which I don't think was too darn bad for a first-timer with only four weeks of training.

If only my body wasn't aging faster than my mind - I might do it again.

Savannah Rock and Roll Half Marathon

In less than 6 days I will "run" 13.1 miles. I agreed to do this very spur of the moment, to honor the lost life of a friend of a friend. I met Jason Martter only once or twice and have not gotten to know his wife Kirsten very well. But I made a commitment to do this - and I honor my commitments.

This has been a very trying and painful experience. I am not a runner, although I've tried from time to time, but it was just too hard. When I first started training, I had a big scare - complete with shortness of breath and chest pains. After about 6 weeks of doctor appointments, aggressive asthma treatment and a battery of tests - my team of doctors determined that my heart is fine, but I have pretty bad asthma, which I never realized. I lost 7 weeks of training and still was determined to do this.

So four weeks ago, I got serious about training - pushing myself very hard to increase my distance by two miles per week. I have arthritis in my knees and the pain is unbelievable. But I have not stopped. I am only on the fringes of the "running" group and have not been included in the camaraderie they share. I am very slow and I have to walk on occasion. I have trained alone, running with others only three times, I have had to provide my own encouragement despite all of my obstacles. The feeling of being alone on this journey has been the hardest. I have always felt like an outsider and this experience is once again, no different.

I will be in Savannah. I will run to honor someone I didn't really know. But I also run because I can and it will be the last time I run this distance. The training has been brutal. I will earn my 13.1 sticker for the back of my car. And while I know that everyone else training for this has worked hard for their accomplishment - I've worked hard too. Alone. No one gives a shit about that, but me.

I am ready for the spotlight.

I am ready.

I can win the lottery now and handle the fame.

Bring it.

I am a shitty friend

So somewhere between kids, my job and hormones - I have neglected some people very dear to me.

First of all I would just like to put it out there that menopause is ridiculously bad. It turns you into a teenager times a million and it makes me one sappy, moody bitch. Just ask my husband. I'll be lucky if I'm still married when I finally emerge from it.

The

I was just interrupted because my son was telling me that his sister hit his bottom with a pillow and it hurt, so he put medicine on it.

With his toothbrush.

As I mentioned above, I have neglected friends because of MY KIDS.

So for the record there are two people that I know I have hurt recently and it hurts me to know this. Julie Cupp and Tanja Dakic Barrett -you both are dear friends and I care for you both very much. When I'm going through difficult times I don't want to burden those that mean so much to me.

How long should it take to make macaroni salad?

In this house, it takes over two hours.

Cook macaroni, chop ingredients. Discover that your Mayo and Miracle Whip expired in 2009. (I clearly don't make mac salad frequently.)

Send husband WITH A LIST to the grocery store. List:

Mayo
Sandwich Spread (It's a southern thing - basically miracle whip with pickles.)
Miracle Whip

He returns with FAT FREE mayo and Sandwich Spread. No Miracle Whip. He's on his way back to the store now for regular mayo and Miracle Whip. (Fat free has high fructose corn syrup, go figure. At least regular mayo has real sugar in it.)

I wonder if I'll get this salad done before we go to the cookout?