Paranoia

Good grief.

Let's get something straight. The current legislative activity for "gun control" is about seeking background checks for the private sale of firearms. It is NOT about taking away your 2nd amendment right to own a gun.

If you are opposed to a background check for purchasing a firearm, I ask WHY? Can you please give me an unemotional, reasonable explanation as to WHY background checks are unreasonable?

I understand that it possibly wouldn't have stopped any of the current media highlighted crimes. But why is making them a bit more difficult to obtain a problem? I'm a sane citizen with no criminal history and I can legally obtain as many firearms as I choose, and I'm not opposed to waiting a few days or having a background check run. Please do. I have nothing to hide.

No one is coming into your home to take your guns. If you purchase them legally, and clearly have a legal right to own one, why would you be concerned?

If you post crap on your Facebook page propagating misconceptions about gun laws, I think you are misinformed, uneducated and quite simply, stupid and paranoid.

It's not personal

I often wonder if my friends and family take it personally when I "disappear" for days, weeks, and months at a time. Not "disappear" in the sense of going into hiding - but in the sense of being so absorbed with other things that they are neglected. For any of you reading this who feel that I ignore you - it's not personal and I do care about you, or you wouldn't be my friend. 

I am a lousy time manager and I don't know how to keep contact in place when my daily life is so busy and chaotic. Between working full-time, my two kids with their upkeep and activities, my husband (who travels frequently - limiting my time with him and putting more of the household and kid upkeep on me), and trying to balance time for myself, I fail miserably at keeping in touch with friends. I don't do it on purpose. 

So there are times when I find myself incredibly lonely, despite having many friends, simply because they have filled their lives with other people and activities too. I wish I knew how to be a better friend. I miss you all and you are all very important to me. Yes, I'm talking to YOU. 


 

Drama Mama

I have always tried to stay away from drama queens. I think they are drawn to me because I'm empathetic, but they are draining.

But it dawned on me today (only took 48 years):

Oh God, am I a drama queen?

Musings of a nomad.

It's no mystery to anyone that has known me more than five years, that I have moved. A lot. I can't recall the last count but it was somewhere around 15 times in 10 years. Some of it had to do with separating from my first husband and going through the divorce process. (Which was a difficult time of reinvention for me, trying to really figure out who I was, where I belonged, my core values, etc.) Some of it was hoping to find that perfect balance of home, community, self, and family.

For the past four years, we've stayed put in the same house. It's been a good feeling with the stability for my kids and trying to connect with a community. The unfortunate thing is that this community has never felt quite right. We never seem to fit in and there was always the missing link of family. It's hard when the only time we see family is when we make annual treks to Virginia and Oklahoma. It uses up all of our vacation time visiting with family.

We've tried very hard to make good friends here and have had limited success. The challenge is that Nate and I are best with a small core group of good friends. We don't do well in large social circles that keep us busy every night juggling between all the invites and being social butterflies. So we've tried identifying people that we enjoy being around and merging into their busy lives. The challenge is that we always find people that are the social butterflies and don't have the time to involve us. We've had dozens of dinner parties that have never been reciprocated. This has hurt our kids the most - they are unfortunately like us. All they want are a few really good friends that are there for them. They've been hurt by the lack of community here. Perhaps its the neighborhood - not enough kids for them to bond with. (And I'd like to say here that we have one family of very good friends in this neighborhood that I know would do anything for us. And I think the world of them - they are some of the best people I have ever met in my life and without them, life would have been unbearable in Marietta. They are dear, dear people.)

It's no surprise to anyone that knows me well that Georgia's political temperature and mine don't mesh. And that the school systems drive me nutty. We were lucky to land in a good elementary school, but when I compare Georgia standards to Virginia's - Holy Moly, our kids don't have a chance.

I'm sure you all know where I'm going at this point. We're done. We've had enough of Marietta Georgia and are returning to Virginia. We might not ever find the community that we hope to, but at least we're never more than two hours drive to people that love us and accept us for all of our quirks. 

It makes me sad. There are people that I genuinely like here that I never got to see enough of. But busy lives and some distance have kept us from bonding more. I'll keep in touch with the ones that really mean something to me. I'm sorry that the number is very small. For the most part once we've left - it will be out of sight, out of mind. Their lives won't change a bit. We're the ones taking the scars with us. 

Moving is not enjoyable and I know that we have become quite the butt of many jokes. Yes, we are moving again and it will require at least another move, since we have to rent for a year or two. But this time we finally know what we are looking for instead of what we don't want. We are focusing on schools, community and family. The house is secondary. It's a shell that you fill with home.

When people have asked me where I'm from, I've always said "Virginia, but I live in Georgia now." It's where I belong and I'm sorry that it took me so long and so many moves to realize it. I know it won't be easy coming back and that there will be some rough spots until we get familiar with each other again. But I've missed you.   

Virginia, I'm coming home. Save me some of your beautiful sunsets, your sweet wine, and your eclectic nutty people that understand me so well.

 

Gay Marriage

Warning: This is a full-on rant and if you are offended, don't read it.

Today President Obama publicly stated his support for Gay Marriage. Today Facebook lit up with people shouting "hurray" and "sinners." And it pissed me off. A good friend of mine posted the news article and in response one of her friends (that I am not linked to) posted:

"Homosexual marriage is hypocrisy and a slap in God's face. He CLEARLY intended marriage to be between a man and a woman. If you're living a lifestyle that God forbids, why would you want to participate in a religious ritual that he established? *Disclaimer: I'm not homophobic,and as a minority I'm against any and all forms of discrimination. You CAN disagree with a lifestyle/religion and not hate the individuals who practice them."

There is no reference in the Bible at all to marriage ONLY being between a man and a woman. There are multiple references to marriage complying with MAN'S established laws. There are references to the words "husband" and "wife." But there are also multiple references to that men can have as many wives as they want. So take your hypocrisy and shove it up your ass. Taking God's word and contorting it to suit your own objectives is WRONG.

Today legal marriage is more about the government rights it gives couples, seeing partners as official spouses for insurance, benefits, death, medical, etc. It's about the public commitment you make to someone you love and plan to support through good and bad for the rest of your life. I'm much more concerned with the divorce rate in the world today, rather than who can marry who. 

If you love someone and are committed to them - you should have the right to make them your spouse. If you make that decision without a true commitment in your heart, to God, to the government, whatever, you are a hypocrite. And yes, I'm calling myself a hypocrite. I knew my first marriage was doomed before I said "I do" because I wasn't willing to commit myself to it.

So all you religious zealots out there get off of your high horses and go back and read your Bible with open eyes instead of regurgitating the pablum you've been spoon fed by organized religion to suit personal agendas. You clearly are seeking someone to condemn so you can feel better about yourself. The Bible is a historical reference and while it may contain "Gods Word" it was written by mere mortal men who influenced it with their own thoughts and feelings.

So what IS it like to be Vegan?

For anyone that has known me for any length of time, you know that I went through a vegetarian phase that lasted in total about three years, over a five year period. (If you can figure that out, I'll give you a penny.)

It means that I wasn't a hard core veg and fell off the wagon on occasion. Especially considering how much I travel. Thirteen years ago, try ordering a vegetarian meal in Omaha, NE. I got a plain iceberg lettuce salad at every meal. EVEN breakfast. Seriously.

I've been teetering on the brink of going back to mostly veg, but here's the challenge: I love food. I love the taste of meat and I love to cook. So why on God's green earth would I do this?

I've watched a few movies lately: Vegucated and Food, Inc. and I'm so seriously grossed out by how animals have been industrialized and are processed on assembly (dis-assembly) lines. I can't bear it any more and have decided to go VEGAN. Not just vegetarian (I was octo-lacto before.), but VEGAN. Which means no dairy, no eggs. I guess I consider it an experiment. I'm not sure how long I can go. Veronica challenged me to do it for a year. I'm on day four and already really struggling. I MISS CHEESE. More than anything else. I MISS CHEESE.

I've actually gained two pounds because I'm eating more carbs. (I make home made Vegan bread that is awesome.) Sigh. I miss cheese.

But seriously, processed food already grossed me out, how our society is fed such garbage and accepts it as nutritious food. Filled with preservatives, sugar and unnatural ingredients. This is just taking it further - I have a choice not to eat meat that is raised just for the purpose of feeding the masses and mistreated in the process. The weird part is cooking meat for the family, and making my meal separately.

Ten Year Anniversary

Ten years ago at 6 am the phone rang and my brother in law gave me the worst news of my life. My mom suffered a massive heart attack, was in a coma and would probably not live until I got to Charlottesville from Alexandria.

I did make it and sat by her side with my three sisters all day, talking and singing Christmas Carols to her and at 6 pm on December 17, 2001 - my mom left us.

I'm surprised by how my mom's presence is still will me ten years after her death. This morning at 7 am, my sister Mel "butt" called me, waking me up with same sense of dread about an early call.

A few hours later - our Christmas Tree crashed to the ground. A tiny 8 foot thing with six strands of lights and fully decorated. Did I mention the two gallons of water it held? The funny thing is, I wasn't upset about it, but amused. Getting upset wouldn't solve anything - so I had to look at the lighter side of it. I could just hear my mom saying "You just have to laugh at life's mishaps and make the best of it."

Miss you mom. You were the eternal optimist.